I am
still thinking about that shooting, even though, I would never be able to bring
it to life. I have the clear image in my head. I can see it. I can see the
choreography of the shoot. Black and white. Maybe a bit dark, but soulful. And
there is you, your small delicate frame populating an imaginary world, with your
tutu skirt, naughty and vaporous, a tight top and black leather jacket. Knee
high socks and Converse shoes. Sort of 80s I guess. Smokey eyes, thick mascara,
and perfect lipstick contouring. There is something dangerous and endearing in
this crazy minimalist mind built scenario, an old shabby building with light
coming through dirty windows of hallways. An elevator with ragged and creaking doors.
And a white, white and scratched wall to project the poses. And life. And
stories, maybe yours or maybe somebody else’s. Your delicate hands and wrists up
on the elevator doors like a brutal pinning of shadows and memories. Ghostly hot
lips down the neck and sweet lies. I’m gonna call you and they never did.
Sensuous line of knee, outsole sliding down on the elevators wall... dark eyes
looking down your shoulder. The rough and needy hands, hoarse whispers that
coat the cramped cubicle. I want you now and forever. But you know there is just
unfocused now, but no forever. Those stories are now lying on a side on the
stairs, with smudged mascara and bitten lips. Disheveled hair and cold fingers
brushing down the cheeks. These lenses are an exorcising trigger making those
memories to come unstrung with a part of heart, leaving behind a raw, vivid wound. And there are long weeps that whisper a chant of forgiveness and
salvation, washing away the darkness. There are still deep breathings gasping
the fresh air after the rain. Somehow, we both know there is a jump waiting.
Back to the life that has been unintentionally ignored so far.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Demon tamer
You
are a demon tamer and you are playing a dangerous game. Stay away or turn back.
You are only the tamer that makes peace offerings to allure demons; you slash
their throats and pull up all the bitterness. I shall bath myself into the
blood of beast and claim my own redemption. Stop coming so close. Stay
there.... Your fragrance is so sweet.
Like vanilla. And yours enticing and persistent like the red thread fading
its color to foggy nothingness. Stop coming so close. Stay there. I just want to say that you are beautiful.
That’s it. Your words have woody trail and bergamot touches and heaviness
of a whisper in the wind. Your light touch makes me remember that my shoulders
levitate up high above the hips. It’s only a half of me here. No wonder, I miss
long breaths and erratic heartbeats. And butterfly’s flutters squirming my
insides.
But now
I know ...it just hit me hard how simple it was. Somehow, I am a singularity
point that went wrong. That’s why half of me is transparent and devoid, and clouded.
My heart simply slipped somewhere else, between the strings. Soon my left hand
will go looking for my heart to get it back or to push it forward. Or rip apart
flesh of things that keep you hostage in a different, probably parallel timeline.
Photo: https://500px.com/photo/129033355/reach-out-by-takashi-yasui
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