It
has been a while since our first meeting in winter. I kept thinking about that
day, about the promise I made to write to you. Sometimes, the story unfolded
naturally in its entire splendor, but not on paper. Until today.
January
28th was a sunny day that did not resemble its fellow sisters at all.
It was a like fugitive spring day, running with its wild bluish green hair to
meet you. I was kilometers behind her, in a yellow cab, having a strange small
talk with the driver. About kids and parents, about kids’ bad ideas and parents’
obstinate what-I-am-telling-you-is-good, and childish acts of rebellion, and all
sort of little things that you’ll experience one day. You know that kind of
little stories, which you keep on telling to whoever wants to listen, landmarks
of your personal history, bearing the sweet, seldom a bit sour taste, like some
old melancholic love songs that sometimes you can hear on the radio.
I
entered the church, wearing the joy instead of any gala attire or jewelries. And
you were there, cute and sleepy, in a white flounced dress, unaware of the
festive uneasiness of the moment. The soft voices of people in the choir were praising
lord for his creation, and they sounded all of a sudden like a strange and
soothing lullaby. Your mom was wearing a lacy black dress that made her look so
young and hippy. Stressed and happy, and anxious and oozing a soft pale glow.
So, this is how motherhood looks like, isn’t it ... Your father, a bit anxious,
happy to nest you in his arms. All protective, all proud. He was holding gently
the little monkey’s head (his words, not mine) on his chest near his heart. That
is a subtle love confession, Eve. Subtle and deep.
Your
clueless godparents, even more clueless than I thought. Saying the words of Creed
all of a tremble, all full of emotions. And the baptism itself that took you
totally by surprise and made you cry a bit in confusion. That’s the new version
of you, having a name and a god to look over you.
The
party was intimate and sweet, with your parents’ friends around in old but
fancy house. Garnished with good music and good wine, with colorful macarons piled
up on a white shelf in the hallway. With two dogs hidden under a chair waiting
for someone to break their shyness and pet them. Having a chic and ancient
stove covered in tiles and pots of flowers here and there. Yellow and green
cushions and lemonade, so homey, so warm. With lovely small talks and plans over
a delicious cheesecake, with coffee and dreams. Watching you, a small little
girl with your fuzzy blond hair looking like a dandelion florets, sleeping
peacefully in your cottony-like cradle. Making all of us swooning over you, oh
my god, she is so sweet.
Dear
Eve, what you’ve just read is a primitive form of memory sharing: a bunch textures
and tastes and colors, some puzzle pieces bearing all sort of sensations,
covered in words whose sense you will feel later on.